Pt 29 – Mandu, Nail Polish & A Nudists Cult

Friday, January 22nd, 2016

I felt like death the next morning. I drank WAY too much rum and was feeling very, very regretful. I would fall into a deeper pit of shame when I found myself getting sick in the squat toilet outside. It would have been more convenient to handle my queasiness inside, however one of the girls kept putting toilet paper in the toilets the entire trip. This is after being told on numerous occasions not to do so, since the plumbing couldn’t handle it. All thanks to one or two ugly tourists, now the hotel toilets were completely backed up.

I wasn’t able to eat any breakfast and had some sympathetic glances shot my way as I pretended to not feel like I was run over by a tractor trailer while also suffering from Norovirus. You might say I’m exaggerating, but that’s exactly how I felt. I tried to pull it together on the ride to the Mandu city ruins. I struggled, but at least enjoyed the scenery of random dinosaur statues and the impressing architecture surrounded by baobab and banyan trees. The architecture at the palace and fort ruins of 10th century Mandu were stunning as well, to say the least.

There was cattle out front to demonstrate how limestone was formed, and we would hear bats chirping within the shadows of the ruins as we walked around. Our guide had one of the Golden Girls sing in the performance hall to demonstrate the acoustics of the room.

We would take a short drive to visit the mosque, but first, we’d get to sample what the guide called, “monkey fruit.” I wasn’t a fan. It was very chalky.

While touring the mosque, I decided to make my move to “kill” a Golden Girl! I borrowed nail polish from Jules, and Trevor asked her if she knew how to whistle. Unfortunately, she’s like me and never learned how. He was still able to get her to try, and I gave her a little poke with the nail polish, making my first kill. She was just relieved to be out of the game, and briefed me on my next target. I had to kill Amelia with a bottle of Kingfisher beer in a tent. It sounded so easy, I thought she might be making it up. If this whole paragraph has you scratching your head, please head on over to Part 28.

Our next stop was to visit the Tomb of Hoshang Shah, the man who designed the Taj Mahal.

We all grabbed some Thali in town and I stomached some food even though one of the servers smelled like he had pooped his pants.

We were to be camping in the “bush” that night as we headed to Ajanta, so Rafik made a pit stop during our drive to grab vegetables, and then we had to fuel up the truck. During our rest break, Trevor was socializing with two guys dressed in orange. They handed him a pamphlet and tried to convince him to join their nudist colony. That was the last time I saw my husband.

Just kidding. As appealing as it sounded, he returned to the truck with the rest of us.

We found a seemingly unoccupied rural area to pitch our tents, but it didn’t take long for the locals to find us. Before we knew it, we were surrounded by spectators. An old man approached us and eyed us up and down like we were a museum exhibit. Trevor amused the kids by juggling rocks. I worried that one of them might get concussed when they tried to juggle themselves. Our evening involved more games by the fire and a whole lot of potty humor.

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Jump Back to Part 28: A Game of Murder

Jump Ahead to Part 30: Cave Art, Stretchers & Germ Swapping

OR

Start from the Beginning at Part 1: Don’t Forget to Pack Your Anxiety